Fish or Cut Bait

I've got zero symptoms, am a day late, and tested negative on an HPT this morning. My temps are still way up, but the prometrium is probably doing that. I have 3 days of prometrium left... hopefully I'll either get a BFP or start AF by the time I run out. I'd hate to fill a prescription and only use one or two pills. I suppose I could maybe get a blood test on Friday first thing. But that might cost me more than the prescription. (Although it would seem that insurance should at least cover a pregnancy test, which is different from infertility/fertility tests...)

I'm procrastinating at the moment. I have comments due tomorrow on a proposal to renovate a small lake for native fish, and I haven't yet read the 63 page proposal... I need to get on that.

Depending, of course, on the results of this cycle, I'm leaning more and more towards foster-to-adoption. I'm thinking I'd get a placement sooner, and I know they really try to fit you with an adoptable child. And in Phoenix, AZ, I just gotta assume there are lots of those... Also, it would certainly be less expensive. ...but here I am again, making some decision and assumptions without checking it out. So I guess this will be one of the first things I check into in May if I'm not preggers.

Okay, I've procrastinated enough. Back to work!

knock, knock

If you love Will Farrell, you'll probably love this...

The kid is acting - and a true prodigy! Hopefully no one was too offended... I was a little thrown initially. It is wrong on a lot of levels, but she's also cute as hell. I do think it's wrong to exploit children or animals, but this wasn't a money gig - just a for fun gig. So I don't know...

What do you think? child abuse? just irresponsible? or just funny?

Earth Week

Been a busy one for me. Last weekend was Step It Up. Tabled at ASU West on Wednesday. Big events this weekend for Earth Day. Fighting on behalf of the planet is always a great time!

My temps have stayed up. Could be related to the prometrium. I have no symptoms - even WITH the prometrium. I should have some answers no later than mid-week next.

Good news - although it took four months, we finally sold some jewelry on our Etsy site!! A necklace, bracelet and earrings set. And the guy wants a special necklace made for his mom for Mother's Day, and another for his girlfriend for her birthday. Yay! Gives me a little incentive to get more jewelry made and listed.

Oh, way past time for bed...
But just so I'm fulfilling my responsibility as a green citizen, I want to encourage everybody to do a little something extra for the Earth this weekend, maybe start a new habit. Use canvas bags for your groceries, or reuse paper or plastic bags. Buy in bulk to reduce packaging. Eat less red meat (uses a LOT more water and land to raise a beef cow for slaughter than for other meats)--even better, go vegetarian! Go organic to reduce the pesticides and chemical fertilizers in our environment. Eat locally produced food - shorter trucking distances means less carbon emissions. Take public transit or just drive a little less. Get your car tuned up - it improves fuel efficiency. Keep your tires properly inflated - also improves gas mileage. Think before you drive and combine trips. Recycle! Turn off the faucet when you brush your teeth. Use phosphate-free laundry soaps. "If it's yellow, let it mellow - if it's brown, flush it down" (left over from the 70's). Consider using cloth diapers. Use energy efficient compact florescent light bulbs. Borrow books from the library. Buy recycled. Buy less. Volunteer for an environmental organization. And have a great weekend!!!

Mad World

According to my chart, I ovulated the same day I surged. But who knows. What I do know is my temps went up enough that I figured what the hell about the progesterone. And since then, they've gone up further. We'll see how this goes. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm still hopeful. And I feel a little more peace about it. I haven't started the other research yet... one thing at a time. Once I know how this cycle turns out, I'll proceed from there. And as much as I feel I want the entire experience of pregnancy and childbirth, I would really be fine with adoption as well.

I've been in a heckuva funk on and off for almost a year. I don't operate at my optimum when I don't have control over situations, and you have to relinquish a lot of control during TTC. I can rationalize and outwardly appear to be rolling with the punches, but inside, over time, I've been sorta falling apart, my confidence getting chipped away. I feel good that if this doesn't work out for me, I will have the option of "taking my body back" and working toward whatever solution will bring me my child.

Speaking of chips... Some of you may recall that I bought myself a new windshield for my birthday this year in January... I got a rock chip and small crack in it today! Eeesh!! I very smartly went to get it repaired right after the meeting I was driving to when it happened. The repair looks decent, too--not like a few years ago when a blob of gunk was applied to the chip. You can just barely tell where the chip is!

If you've not heard it, or don't remember the Tears for Fears version some 20 years ago, check out Gary Jules' version of Mad World -- my ode to today's shooting at Virginia Tech. It's one of my favorite sad songs.

So It Goes.

Well, this is NOT good news. My temp stayed low this morning, presumably 2DPO, or at least 3 days past my peak. I'm suppose to start a prescription of prometrium today, but I don't see the point if I didn't ovulate. I'm gonna wait until my temp goes up. But at this point, it seems this cycle was a bust, along with the $800 for sperm, shipping and supplies. I will let my blogger buddies know if things turn around and I get respectable temps tomorrow morning, but if not it looks like I'm going on a couple month hiatus. I probably will not check or contribute to other blogs as much--we'll see. I'll do some homework and try to get straightened around and report what I am thinking, finding and deciding.

If anyone needs any AI supplies - syringes and catheters - let me know! I have a bunch!! Or email me any time: tuzigoot2001 at go dot com.

So let's divide up the wealth more fairly than we have divided it up so far. Let's make sure that everybody has enough to eat, and a decent place to live, and medical help when he needs it. Let's stop spending money on weapons, which don't work anyway, thank God, and spend money on each other. It isn't moonbeams to talk of modest plenty for all... --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Goodnight, Kurt, you lucky devil. You will be missed.

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

Got my surge and peak on the CBFM this a.m. and did my first AI tonight. Bought three vials for this possibly last try, so I'll do another tomorrow a.m. and the last one tomorrow night. And we'll just have to wait and see, won't we. After that, I'm really not sure.

Here's what's going on... My job that I love is going through some changes. On the one hand, it's not that big of deal, just a little restructuring--I lose my title as director, gain a better manager (I hope), reduce the range or future range/territory of my job, and (again hopefully) increase my focus. On the other hand, I feel like the rug's been pulled out, and things are not what they seemed. I'm sure I'll work through it...

But it does impact my thoughts about moving back to the Northwest, which I've always said I hope to be able to do in the next few years. I have not yet done my homework, so I know this will all start to come together when I have more information. In the meantime, I'm guessing that a foster-to-adopt program will require that I stay put for awhile... like until a child is adopted, and maybe longer. If I move just directly to adoption, I'll likely need to stay put through the process of home studies, etc.

I feel strongly that I need to stick with my work here--I've got rivers to save and groundwater laws to change... But I do love and miss my family. I'm also afraid of too much of a good thing (family, if I moved back). So I feel a little stuck in my confusion.

Welcome to the TWW, huh?

A, B, C, D, E, G... what, no F?

I am pleased to report that the clomid did not completely f*ck me up this cycle! I definitely still had a dip in mood for a couple days, but no major hell to speak of. My favorite donor wasn't available, so I went with the choice I used last time. Hoping for a cute, curly-haired little one... or any little one...

I've been really busy with work lately, and, I guess, not very "talkative" for awhile now. It might do me well to write about all I'm going through, but I feel like I want to keep it bottled up. I don't want to go on and on about the same things, the same questions, week after week... I decide and un-decide. Why pain anyone else with my indecision. But I really don't freakin' know what to do next. Leaning toward adoption. Feeling almost convinced of that. But then I start mourning not having a baby... and I haven't even done my latest/last AI yet! ugh...

SO. Kobi's doing great still. Appetite, energy, attitude - all good. It's been five months since his surgery, and still no metastasis. Yay! And the three cats are all fine. Just realized two of the kitties are eight! I found 'em just a couple months after I moved to Phoenix, and that was eight years ago February. Crazy. Can't believe I've been here that long. Wonder when I'll get back to the NW... So far no plans. My job is too cool to walk away from at this point, and I feel too invested in the campaigns I'm running. We had a front page, above the fold article with color photos in last Tuesday's paper in Prescott. Woohoo! (Can't buy that kind of advertising...)

OH - was just reminded of the one major side effect I've noticed with clomid this time... HOT FLASHES! Big time. Right now. uck...

A Little Dab'll Do Ya

I've got a plan. For my 6th and possibly final unassisted AI, I'm on the evil clomid, 100 mg, CD 3-7 (I'm on CD 5). I will order 3 vials of my old favorite donor if available for delivery next Friday in case I ovulate early or there's a problem with the shipment. I will insem. at 12, 24 & 36 hours past +OPK or thereabouts. And we'll see what happens. If it works, fabulous!!! If not, I'll take a couple months off to let my hormones and emotions settle, and to do some research into RE's, IVF, adoption and foster-to-adopt programs so I can decide next steps. I certainly hope this cycle works out for me - making me totally average (6 tries). But whether or not it does, I am looking forward to a little break. Particularly because clomid completely ravages my emotional well-being. I wish finances were not at the heart of my decision-making through much of this process. Unfortunately, I can only work with what I have, including nearly maxed out credit cards. So, yes. A break sounds heavenly - either a nine-month break of paying debts and increasing savings!! Or a couple month break to just do research and search my soul.

I feel so much better!

Googly

Finally! AF was a couple days late. I feel SO bloated and disgusting. Crazy. As late as this morning I was nauseated and there was no sign of AF. I'd catch myself thinking, "Maybe? Could it be??" But I didn't want to be disappointed, and I knew better, so I'd try to shift my thoughts and not get stuck on the possibilities. Although I did try to do a quick google search for pregnant with low BBT... Didn't see what I was looking for - namely "hope."

I'm okay, though. I'll call my doc's office tomorrow to see what she says. As my bloodwork and HSG were all normal/good, maybe I just need more help with timing - a trigger shot or something. She'll probably send me to an RE, though. I'll probably start researching that.

Although I haven't decided what's next for me exactly. I'm toying with the idea of a local known donor--I'd ask a friend. But not sure. Probably not. I dunno... BUT THANKS EVERYBODY WHO COMMENTED WITH SUPPORT AND SYMPATHY AND ADVICE!!!! It's really nice not feeling alone in this.

Could I get some chips with that dip?

Just sitting here waiting for AF to show... I had a temperature dip and spotting at 11DPO, which seemed a bit late for implantation. The temp dip also corresponded with a drop in local temperatures. I added blankets, temps went back up! Then they went down again. Below the coverline today. So I'm just waitin'...

And wondering what the hell I'm going to do next. I'd planned to do 6 at home AIs, three unmedicated, three medicated, and then move on to an RE for three tries. After that try IVF. Now, as I start cycle #6, I'm scared. This is it for the "cheap" AIs of around $600/month... Using an RE will cost at least a grand a month. And I really don't want to max out my credit cards. And IVF. I'm very worried that my advanced age will continue to count against me in the odds. And if I spend (finance) $15,000-$20,000 on IVF, then I've got nothing left for adoption if it doesn't work. I'm afraid of spending that kind of money and ending up with nothing to show for it. (I'm probably not the first woman in this situation to think this way...)

And of course it could go the other way, too. Multiples. One or two is good. Three, oh my god. Four, oh I couldn't possibly. More? And I just don't know if I could do selective reduction. How does one choose which babies to keep and which to get rid of?

I SO want to be pregnant and give birth to my baby. But at what point do I say, I can't afford to pursue it this way anymore. And move on to adoption?

I will try at least one more time at home, but then I've got some decisions to make. And it's hard. And it sucks. And I wish I'd gotten started with this 10 years ago. Except that I wasn't ready then, and I am now. So...

I'd joined SMC a couple months ago and got the packet to contact local members. Finally reached them today and will be going to my first monthly meeting in a couple weeks. It's the same group that "Margie with triplets born 3/6" belongs to. It will be great to make some local single mom friends.

And although I love my blog buddies, I'm not much enjoying the NW board lately. The dynamics have definitely changed. And maybe it's also because there've been so many BFPs lately (no offense Michelle, Jen... I REALLY AM HAPPY FOR YOU LADIES!)--and all the newbies getting knocked up right and left. Granted, I'd have been ecstatic to have gotten a BFP my first or second time, or third or fourth... you get the idea. Of course I'll be excited whenever and however I get my little one.

What's next? Stay tuned... and I'll try to be a better blogger.

One Mean Mother

It's hot. Really f'ing hot!! It's been close to 100 for the last two days. This past winter was the hottest on record globally. And it looks like spring is going to be pretty brutal as well. I HATE summer in the SW... and it's only March. If I didn't love my work, and the abuse, I'd be back home in the NW.

Abuse. I knew it was going to be a rough meeting, but I went into it with a positive attitude knowing this was just part of the job. It was a Forest Service scoping meeting about opening some roads into an endangered bird's habitat. The "locals," apparently all ORV enthusiasts, insisted they should be able to drive wherever they want whenever they want--screw the critters. My differing opinion was met with such comments as "get a life" and "you tree-huggers, you should all be shot." Her name was Marge, and she was probably a 75-year-old grandma. I asked her to have some respect. She emphatically said "no." Fun times.

Went to a Pakistani kite festival today. There were maybe 50 people there; four food vendors, including the Vienna Beef hot dog guy; one retail vendor with tops, purses, earrings, shoes and pillow covers; and one kite occasionally flying furiously in the air. I went with a friend who's been to the festival, called Basant Mela, in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park where thousands of festival-goers feast on delicious Indian and Pakistani dishes, fly kites, and party. This was not that. But at least nobody had their throat slit. We celebrated after about a half hour of disappointment at a nearby Indian restaurant and partook of a delicious buffet. I was completely satiated.

And then I came home for a nap. I've been an utter lump ever since. I'll have to do all my laundry and house work tomorrow, I guess. I've been fairly oblivious to the TWW until today. I'm about a week down. I'll probably test next Saturday at 12 DPO. That's too long to wait and entirely unfair. But oh, well...

Briefs or Bikinis... or Thongs?

Just wanted to jump on here and let ya'll know I'm feeling really good. Back to my ol' self. Work's going great, I'm kickin' ass, and having fun doing it. (Some days there's nothing better than being a self-righteous activist...)

My AIs went perfect Sunday and Monday, and my temp soared this morning and confirmed that I'd ovulated. Let's hope this new-to-me sperm does the trick! I've got so much going on that the TWW shouldn't be too difficult. I imagine I'll wake up the day after Earth Day (April 22) and wonder where I'm at in my cycle... Joking, I'm way too obsessive for that.

Well, this is a short one... I'm tired, and Kobi's already in bed, probably asleep. OOH! One of these days I'm going to remember to record him barking to get me to let him into our room so he can go to bed and figure out how to post it here. He's quite insistent. Funny, though, it's the exact same bark he uses when he wants his food and when he wants out. I'll record all three and we'll see if we can't figure out if there's any differences between the barks... G'night!

Waiting on a wonder

I did finally dig out of my depths of despair and rejoin humanity!! Thanks, all. Boy I hope I don't have to do clomid again. It truly wrecked me this time. But, like I said, I feel better now, and more positive and rational and hopeful.

I JUST finished my first AI for this cycle. And it felt a bit more skilled and problem-free this time. Or maybe I just didn't worry as much. Whatever it was, I feel good. Switched donors this cycle and hope that it makes a difference. I'm having a little ovulation discomfort, but not the cramping yet. I planned to start using OPKs today, but my monitor went to peak today so... AI'd tonight at about 13.5 hours past monitor peak. I'll do it again in the morning at about 24 hours past... or wait until noon for 29 hours past. I keep trying to change up my timing a little to maybe better nail the egg. But it's such a crapshoot, so who knows. At least I feel like I'm doing everything I can think of to make this work.

I bought syringes and catheters this week. Not sure when I'll get them. I'll have an overabundance of syringes, so if anybody needs some, let me know--I bought 100. I'm splitting the 50 catheter purchase with somebody, and will only have 25 for myself... hahaha. Yeah. I don't plan on doing this for another full year, but I can't tell you today how long I may keep it up. I'll let you know if I decide I can part with a catheter or two.

I had breakfast this morning with a friend at my favorite place -- Matt's Big Breakfast. (Jen, it's on 1st St & McKinley if you haven't been there.) Fabulous stuff - lots of organic vegetables, cage-free eggs and local preserves. Very yummy. Made my weekend complete! (Picture to right and above are of Matt's taken a couple weeks ago.)

Kobi (thanks for asking, Michell) is doing great! His mouth is completely healed. That's not to say that the cancer won't regrow because the margins weren't clean, but it doesn't appear to be growing yet, and all the tissue looks really healthy. I feel more and more hopeful that he'll be hanging around for at least another 6 months to a year or more! I'm glad we didn't do chemotherapy. He continues to have lots of energy and a great appetite. And he hasn't coughed at all in a couple weeks.
Mom is doing well, and my dad will be able to go with her to Boston for the exam and hopefully treatment of her pancreatic cysts. Which means she'll be well-taken care of, and I can stay here and speak at a gathering outside the legislature instead. Mom's appt. is a week from Tuesday. My little sister is having cysts removed from her breast this coming Thursday. I feel bad that I'm so far away. But I'll just be here waiting out my two weeks and trying not to stress too much.

Okay, feels like the cramping is coming. Let's hope for at least 2 good cage-free eggs to fertilize!

Anybody seen my dancing shoes?

Clomid is kicking my ass... If I thought I was dealing with depression before, I had no idea. Clomid last cycle was tough, but OMG. Yeah, a little headache. Yeah, hot flashes. But dark, unbending, oppressive sadness... definitely more so this time than last. THANKFULLY, tonight is my last dose for this cycle. Then I can move onto the fun of inseminating in a week, followed by two weeks of waiting. Woohoo!!

This is a tough row. Wish it was easier, quicker...

I am trying to follow the Stoneage anti-depression methods, have been getting exercise, taking Omega-3, talking to friends and family, getting 8 hours sleep, trying to think good thoughts not always successfully... but am having trouble getting 30 minutes of sunshine. Not because there isn't sun. There's LOTS of sun here. I just haven't felt like going out and enjoying it. Maybe tomorrow...

Kobi's got another follow-up with his oncologist tomorrow. He seems like he's doing pretty well, so I'm not expecting there will be any news. We'll keep on with the herbs, and I'll keep being thankful that he's still hangin' out with me. My cutie pie...

Inny or Outy?

I have an inny, but I'm outy... spotting now and expect to be ridin' the red wave in the next several hours. On to cycle #5. I read the average # of tries is 6, so I've got a couple to go to be average. And being in my 40s, I expect to be a little above average. I'd really like it to be sooner than later, though, you know?

I commented on someone else's blog today that I actually felt a little relief at not being pregnant along with my sadness of the same situation. I have been reading those books about what's to come, and along with being very informative, they're pretty scary and eye-opening. I mean, I know it'll be tough. I know it'll be lonely. I know it will be the biggest challenge I've ever faced. I also know it will be the most rewarding and life-changing thing I'll ever do. Yep. I've been contemplating this for a couple years, and really seriously considering for over a year. Charting for eight months. Trying for four cycles. Not sure I'm completely comfortable with feeling relief about not being pregnant this far into it. And I fully intend to try again. And I fully intend to hope I'm pregnant as I did this past cycle. And, I guess, I hope my feelings at the end of the next cycle, whether pregnant or not, make more sense to me--leave me feeling more confident that this is still the right decision for me. I know it is. But crap!

More pixies!

Kobi wanted to go to bed early the other night... (he goes to my bedroom door and starts barking)

Here he is laid out, sweet puppy.

He's telling me "Enough John Stewart! Let's go to bed!!"



And completely off-topic... Kobi's favorite artwork. My friend Indigo Verton, who runs The Red Door gallery in Phoenix, did a show of these fabulous photos of wigs, black and whites that she colorized. I have these hanging in Kobi's boudoir.

Fred and Wilma would be proud!

After feeling relatively certain I'm pregnant for a few days, my temp dipped (still above coverline) this morning. I took an HPT this morning, too, and it was negative. It's still early. I'm not out yet. But my certainty has certainly taken a hit. AF is due on Monday, so we'll see.

I was in a bit of a funk this a.m. due to above stated circumstances, but was revived after checking in on Pioneer Woman's blog post for today. YOU HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT!! Her son sings Oh, What A Beautiful Morning. It positively melted my heart. You CAN'T have a bad day after listening to that!

I read an interesting article yesterday about treating depression with Stone Age tools. No, don't think "pounding it out with a club." The article talks about reincorporating six elements that are often no longer present in our lives and society today.

Briefly:

1) Omega-3. The article suggests 1 gram EPA plus a multi-vitamin. (If you're pregnant or TTC, make sure you read up on what's considered safe doses and of which type of Omega-3. I read conflicting information, and, but as a vegetarian, I'm more comfortable taking flax forms of ALA that converts to EPA and DHA, or micro-algal forms of DHA. Problem with ALA conversion, only about 21% is converted to EPA & 9% to DHA. It would take approx. 4-5 tbsp ground flax per day to get 1 gram of EPA.)
2) Exercise. 30 minutes of cardio, 3 times per week.
3) Sunlight. 30 minutes of sun exposure daily.
4) Sleep. 8 hours per night on the same schedule 7 days per week.
5) Social connectedness. Make or schedule time with friends and family, on the phone and in person. Expand social network if necessary.
6) Anti-ruminative behavior. Fancy way of saying "negative thoughts." Avoid them. Interrupt them with distractions.

Seems pretty basic and healthy. And I can see where not getting enough (or too many in terms of negative thoughts) would be unhealthy. So I figure I'll give it a try. Starting now with a walk in the sunshine.

What's in a Mom?

Feeling better!! Not sure why, but I'll take it! The fog is lifting, and I'm looking forward to a big, beautiful BFP this weekend! Been having some very different and strange little twinges in my uterus today. Probably means nothing, but I don't remember feeling this before. Maybe baby? Maybe a horrible uterine infection caused by the HSG? Maybe my only symptoms post alien probe?? I'm hoping for a baby...

I've been reading books. Not just any books, but books related to this whole fun and wonderful past-time of trying to conceive as a single or older woman. I just finished But I Don't Feel Too Old to Be a Mommy! and am now reading Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide. I also have, and am looking forward to reading Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood. I recently joined the national SMC organization, but haven't had a chance to contact the local group and get involved yet. That's a goal, though. I'd heard by another SMC in Phoenix (currently pregnant with triplets!) that it was a very good, supportive group here, so I'm looking forward to joining up with them. Heavens knows it would be good to find some women to share sitters with, hang out, etc.

But I'm terrified, too. Yeah, that old friend, Panic. What if I am pregnant! Oh, shit!! This is all a huge mistake! But I breathe deep and figure out that it's okay. I'm okay. It'll all be okay. BOY, I hope I don't just wake up one day and decide this was the worst idea I'd ever had... These books are suppose to make me more knowledgeable and calm my fears! But they're making me think!!

Okay, friends. You don't have to reassure me. We've been through this before... Just ignore me. I really have talked myself back down and I'm good to go. And really excited to be pregnant! (oh please oh please oh please oh please!)

I'm not planning to test until Saturday, 12 DPO. Then I'll test every day until I either get a BFP or AF shows. But I am SET!

On a side note, I think I'm flying to Boston on the 20th of March! My first trip to the East Coast!! Likely the trip will be short - like maybe overnight. And it's not for the greatest reason - my mom has precancerous cysts on her pancreas. But it's possible that she will get an experimental treatment that will hopefully cure her and save her from having her entire pancreas removed and becoming an automatic diabetic. We're quite hopeful, but still have a lot of unanswered questions and concerns.

My mom is an AMAZING woman!! Incredibly strong and positive. Decides never to worry about something until she's certain there's something to worry about. She rarely disappoints--and maybe it's because of that that in the rarest of instances that she does disappoint it's so glaring... poor dear. She's so close to perfect I forget she's fallible like the rest of us. And I just love her like crazy!! So there.

Pop Goes the Princess

I'm getting by. It's a week past AI. I'm not really having any symptoms, except some twinges that seemed uterine in nature yesterday. Nothing today. Except a headache. And tired. Had breakfast, shopped and saw a movie with friends--the dark and savage Last King of Scotland. We're trying to get some more Academy Award Nominees in before next Sunday.

I feel like I'm struggling a bit with my mood. Almost too blah to write a post, but I know I've been absent for awhile. Figured I should "check-in." I'm apparently doing better than Britney Spears, though... poor thing.


Okay, the headache's got me. Gonna go deal. Maybe go to bed early.

Hangin' with OP

For the first time ever in recorded history, I'm having ovulation pain. Started night before last, which is why I AI'd a couple hours after my first OPK+. I thought, huh, this must mean something. The little bit of cramping came and went throughout yesterday. Not really noticeable unless I really thought about it. I did my second AI last night about 8:30, and shortly after that I got really bad cramps around my left ovary. The right side is tender when I push on it, too, but the left side - yow! It continued to hurt pretty bad all night and this morning. Not double-over or cry hurt, but yow-ow-ow hurt. It has backed off a little, but still uncomfortable. I am pretty sure I ovulated because my temps spiked this morning.

I'm sure the cramping is clomid related. Of course this morning I was thinking I probably have ovarian cysts now, but I have read that ovulation cramping on clomid is common. I only had some hot flashes, minor chest pain and maybe depression as other memorable side effects. I'll need to get checked out before I go on it again.

Here's to hoping it's all worth it!

It's time! It's time! It's time!!

Okay, really quick, cuz I need to get some work done today!

I got a +OPK last night at about 11:30pm. I'd been to the movies and had a rootbeer, then a bottle of water, and then some fake coffee (Kaffree Roma)... I was too diluted to get a decent test earlier than that, and the 1pm test was negative. I also noticed some possibly ovulation pains, which I never ever ever get. I'd been thinking I wanted to change up the timing, so I did an AI right away. Was able to get it all together at about 1:30am this morning. Plan to AI again tonight, maybe 7:30. 2 hrs & 20 hrs past +OPK... Dunno.

I got my peak on the CBFM this morning, as well I should have. The OV-Watch is really close--says I should ovulate tomorrow. Had I not gotten the OPK+ last night (who tests at 11:30pm??), I know I wouldn't be AI'ing until this afternoon or evening, and then tomorrow.... Maybe I jumped the gun. Or maybe not. My gut told me to do it, and if you could see how I'm filling out my jeans (or should I write "busting out of my jeans"), you'd know I've been listening to my gut a lot lately.

Okay, enough for now. I'm excited!

OH, and P.S. I've been paying a lot closer attention to my urine ph level this month and using alkalinizing drops in my water. ...just in case it's my high acidity that is reducing my fertility.