11 DPO. And I tested. Yeah. I did. See, here's what happened...
My fertility monitor has been reading high since CD 13, two days before ovulation, and I've burned through the 20 sticks that came with the monitor when I bought it on ebay. When I woke up this morning, I had the bright idea that since I'll probably start my period in a couple days, and rather than open a new box of sticks, I would use the stick from yesterday--yes, a used stick. If it read "something" it might be better than just not testing. But in case it didn't like the used stick--gave me an error message or something--I wanted some urine on the ready. And since I needed to pee right then and no way could I wait five minutes for the monitor to do its thing, I peed in a cup. Well, the monitor read the old stick. So here I had perfectly good urine collected in a clean paper cup... and I'm 11 DPO. Hmmm... what should I do? Grab a pregnancy test and stick it in? Okay.
It was negative. And I was okay with that. A negative on 11 DPO doesn't mean anything. A positive would have been beyond words. I wouldn't have minded being speechless. I'm sure I would have recovered just fine. And quickly. But I'm okay with negative.
Besides there's always 12 DPO.
On another note, if you've read past posts, you may have read about a certain boyfriend who was surprisingly supportive and sweet about this whole Single Mother By Choice thing. I inseminated on Thanksgiving, midnight, noon and midnight. I had dinner with said boyfriend around 6 (after an altogether weird encounter, which I'll write about in a second). I left his place about 8. I haven't heard from him since.
The weirdness: I told him the day before to call me about 4:00 on Thanksgiving to let me know what was going on as far as dinner timing. He didn't call, so I called him at 4:30 and left a message. I decided I wanted to make stuffing and the store near his house was closing in one hour, so I thought I should just head over there, pick stuff up and come over. He didn't call me back on my cell phone, so after I left the store and was pulling into his place, I called again. No answer, so I left another message. It's about 5:30. I take the groceries up to his place and knock. No answer. I check to make sure his car is there - yes. I knock again. And again. Rather than just leaving, I get my keys--his keys--and open the door. Slowly. "Hello?... hello??" Finally a response... "Can I come in?" Yeah. I put stuff in the kitchen. He's in the bathroom and hasn't come out, so I go into the hall and say hi, sorry, I wasn't sure what to do... He's naked, just out of the shower, just getting his contacts in.
We never really recovered. He said it was okay, but it didn't feel okay. But I wasn't sure what else I was suppose to have done. And why should it feel so weird? I have keys. I had repeatedly tried to get ahold of him, and he wasn't answering. We had plans.
After dinner we sat and watched football and he fell asleep (he had beef roast, not turkey). I eventually woke him up and said goodbye (having sat and watched football "alone" which I would never do at home). He walked me to my car, wished me luck on my AI at midnight, hugged, kissed, and I drove away. And I haven't heard from him since. I did leave him a message on Wednesday evening last week. He's never attempted to call me back.
Could he be hurt? Injured? Dead?? Possibilities, I suppose. In which case I would feel terrible for having thought so poorly of him this past week... I guess he's having more problem with this SMBC and AI than he'd admitted? But it's been almost two weeks. I'm not sure I'll answer if he does call. Except I probably will. But not during "Heroes."
6 comments:
I think I'd probably test too. Hopefully tomorrow it will be a BFP. Your sometimes boyfriend sounds like such a guy. It could be that he is having a harder time with the AI and SMBC thing than he first indicated, but it could be that he is just focused on his own stuff whatever that may be. Then there is that whole guy time thing. It's like if they tell you they'll be there in an hour and don't show up for 3 and then can't figure out why you're upset. I too have done the uncomfortable sit and watch some sporting event on TV while he sleeps because you aren't sure what to do. It kinda sucks. Hope it all improves and here is hoping for that BFP.
I have to say it sounds like this guy is feeling a bit strange about you possibly having someone else's baby. If you two are together and you are pregnant, people will assume it is his, and he is probably realizing how much you will change being pregnant, and how the baby will now be the priority in your life. Men can be so unbelievably insecure at times. He is just going to have to decide if he can handle it. it is one thing for him to be ok with it in theory, but a whole other thing when reality hits. I hope he comes around, but if not, you already planned to do it alone and you know you will be fine. Maybe he doesn't know that and thinks you will want more from him than he can give. Hope tomorrow is a bfp!!!
Sorry about the deal with the boyfriend... guys are weird sometimes!
I really hope you get that positive tomorrow. I am pulling for you!
I hope you get a positive too. Now, on the Boyfriend front....hummmm..you said I was too nice. I give you the wonderfully nice wand here...I am hard core on boyfriends. I am real funny about guys not returning calls or acting like it matters to them If I follow up with our plans or not. Only you can decide which way to go here...my hope is that he is 100% honest with you about his feelings or no feelings at all on this SMBC thing. The reality is..no fence sitting for this improtant life changing event. Either he supports you or he doesn't...either way you are making a choice to always put your baby FIRST regardless...so you will do beautifully. M, why would your boyfriend have any kind of prob with you using keys he gave you? Maybe you need to put all your cards out on the table & have an adult Pow-Wow...to get inside of his head.(or try anyway) I am with berrymom...guys can have some insecure thoughts about these subjects. Wish I lived close...we could meet for a hot drink & ladies gab about this situation...LOL. Keep me posted.
Thanks, ladies!!!! Well, you know... it's because he's not really available to be a father that we're not doing this together. His daughter comes first, which I respect. But he's left very little room for me. Fine. I decided to accept that for now. But this is even less than what I had decided to accept. And in order to talk about it, he needs to call me back. But I really don't feel like stressing about it. Phew! Got too many other things to worry about!!
Post a Comment