I had a moment around 3 a.m. Tuesday... Oh, my God. Can I do that?! Can I properly mother and care for a sick infant??! My 20-month-old niece was in the middle of a good couple-hour-or-so-long crying/fussing/screaming jag brought on by flu/cold/fever. My sister had her for awhile, then my mom went in to rock her. Then it was back to my sister. Sis ended up sleeping sitting up with the baby on her chest because every time baby would lie down she'd cough and then cry. My nerves jangled a bit from the distress the baby seemed to be having. I could feel her pain. And it was so late - or so early... What if that was me with the baby? By myself? The night before I have to give a presentation or lay into a city council member? Could I do it?? Would my patience hold out? Laying there next to my nine-year-old niece, having nothing to do with any of it, I felt a lot of frustration. And fear. And panic.
A couple days later, the fear and panic feel more distant. It was short-lived. The baby slept through last night (with my sister sleeping sitting up with baby on her ample bosom - the night before a big presentation at work - which she rocked...), and she was a mostly happy baby today. Sure I can do it. Ummm... unless my baby cries for two solid hours. Or three. Or off and on for six. What if it's not one night, but three in a row!? Plus days? What if my baby was really sick? Permanently sick? OK - STOP! Yeah. I could go on like that and really get myself worked back up into that panic. I know most women/parents wonder if they're truly up to the task. At least I'm not alone there.
Besides, I used to spend a great deal of time caring for my now nine-year-old niece when she was an infant. I rocked and held her through many hours of melt downs. And never did I lose patience with her (not for the sick or the crying... other things, yeah). Alright, I've talked myself back down.
I'm 8 DPO today. And hoping like crazy I'm pregnant!
By the way, speaking of pregnant, I had the distinct honor and pleasure of meeting one very pregnant Berrymomnw today for lunch! She was radiant. And she has the most lovely blue eyes and glossy/healthy brown hair!! She really is the person she seems to be in her blogs. I have to admit that I felt like a real idiot that I didn't think to bring her a baby gift until I'd 'bout pulled into the restaurant parking lot... DOH! Thankfully, she didn't seem to hold it against me. I hope I handle pregnancy half as gracefully as she is.
6 comments:
Oh Chelle, I totally know what you are talking about when you say you were worrying about whether you can do this with a crying sick baby. I have this worry every time I'm at work and have a fussy baby. I've had them cry off and on for up to 8 hours at a time and ended up with me being in tears. I think that while I still may get frustrated, it will be different when it's my own baby that I am attached to. I know you can do it and I know I can do it. It won't be easy all the time, but it still will be so worth it. I hope you are pregnant too.
I know that panic LOL. You will know what to do when the time comes. 8dpo wow good luck!!!
-C
You are too sweet! I had such a nice time having lunch with you. It's so nice to connect with the people I seem to spill my guts to every week. I know that you will be able to handle a sick/fussy baby. You seem like a person who just does what has to be done, and that's a pretty big requirement for motherhood.
Oh, Chelle..first I am SO envious of you & Berrymom...wish I could have joined you chickadees. I am super happy it went so well & that you both had such a nice time.
Now, about your fears....heck yeah we have all felt that panic. I remember I was watching my triplet cousins....they were 6 months the first time...geesh that was CRAZY. I started watching them on the weekends up until they were 3.5......ugghhh...talk about tired! Maybe that is the motherhood pangs took so long to come in..lol
I know what you mean about being nervous like caring for a sick child, etc... I get that way sometimes myself and just figure that hopefully I will do just fine and figure all that stuff out when I am lucky enough to get that opportunity!!!
I am like Candace, I would have loved to have been out that way and joined you guys for lunch... too bad I am half away across the country!!! I am sure you gals had a lovely time and I think it is so cool that you guys met up... next time Ethan will be there to join you!
Take care!
Chelle, Just like ALL the other ladies, I too can relate. I think we all feel at times that raising a child is a bigger task than we can handle. From reading your posts, I think that you'll be a great mom, without question! And you know what? You already do take care of a sick baby (albeit a furry baby) and you do that with love, patience and tenderness. I'll bet Kobi knows that he couldn't ask for a better mom! I'm sure that you'll extend that same love and care to your baby, without panicking.
Hey, maybe you're having 3am panic attacks because you really are preggers! (fingers crossed)
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