Monday, October 20, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 2

Last week went really well with J. She is mostly a typical 10-year-old who is desperate for stability. We've had great fun doing all sorts of things little girls/kids like to do... movies, roller coasters, video games, pedicures, the science center and shopping. And she seems very excited to spend the night for the first time next weekend. We've gotten along very well, and though she pulls attitude frequently, it usually doesn't take but 3-4 "no" statements to get her back on track. She loves to challenge and barter. She also likes to blame others for situations and emotions she doesn't like. But she is a darling little girl!! And I am falling into mommyhood pretty well, I think. I also think we're on track for her to live with me full time by Thanksgiving! So cheers to big damn changes!! and lots of counseling. and lots of hugs. and knowing what a cool thing this is.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Ups and Downs

We had a terrific Saturday at C*stles *nd Co*sters! The only down side of the day was that I was too fat to ride the roller coaster... I couldn't lock the bar across my lap! Might have worked if my legs were shorter, and my knees didn't have to be quite so up in the air... J was so sweet, she said, "You're not fat... you're just tall." Yeah, we'll get along just fine.

She was high energy, but only verged on obnoxious a couple times. She also mistook me for furniture a few times, but I can understand that she just wants to get "close" and create - even mandate - a relationship. Such a sweet girl that needs so much!

We're going to the movies this afternoon. I'll take her to Peter Piper for dinner and games Wednesday. And I plan to spend the full day with her on Friday. She'll get to meet my sister, too, who is flying into town for a friend's baby shower.

VERY EXCITING!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Tired already

I met my "daughter" today. It's just the strangest thing... She calls her foster mom, Mom. She's extremely high energy, singing, dancing, "I'm bored"-ing, pushing boundaries, cheating on checkers, etc. all over the place, when she's not firing a ball at my head. To say I'm thrilled is an understatement. To say I'm terrified is an understatement.

She's 10 10-year-olds in 1 beautiful kid. And I'm 1 inexperienced, lower-case mom.

We spent a couple hours together today. We'll spend most of tomorrow together. Yes, she talked me into a theme park. Considering her zoom-zoominess, I'll likely be glad to have Sunday off.

Friday, October 03, 2008

You really, really like me

Recap of the week's relevant happenings:
1) I finally heard from my adoption worker on Wednesday and a 2nd meeting with the caseworker and the girl's (J) guardian ad litem was scheduled for Friday (today). Anxiety mostly abated.
2) Attended productive meeting with caseworker and guardian ad litem (plus 3 other people) this morning. Tentatively set a meeting date for next Friday for J and myself. This will be a brief meeting with about a 4 hr play meeting the next day, Saturday. We'll probably be getting together a few times each week for a couple weeks, then maybe start an overnight and then weekend visits.
3) We've agreed that initially I will only be introduced as a "special friend." (Sounds perverse, but I didn't tell them that...) This should help reduce some of the pressure on her and help us build a friendship and bond (as much as one can be established over the course of a few weeks). Then, seeing how it goes, let her know what's up before she moves in permanently.

So they are definitely excited about this happening for J. And I'm excited for me! And nervous as hell. Time to think seriously about my "house rules," schedule and structure. This, people, is huge! The absolutely most important thing I've ever done in my life. (Like I have to tell you this.) I hope like hell I can be an adequate, maybe even good, mom to this little girl. I'll do my best.