I'm not sure how many babies born in this world actually start with a plan, but this was going to take a concerted effort on my part, so a plan was absolutely necessary.
I started with the idea that yes, I absolutely must have a child, so what's next? I knew I wanted to get my debts paid down... they were only around $4000, so I knew it wouldn't take me too long. (Turns out I don't know much. But more about that later.) I also wanted to get my body baby-ready. I was fit, but was on a couple medications that aren't good for the fetus, so needed to wean myself off of those. And then there's the prenatal vitamins with folic acid. The drinking more water, alkalinizing the system, detoxing massage, etc., etc.--some of it more expensive than others, which cuts into the paying off debt.
So, pay off debts and get the body baby-ready. Pretty short list. I rent a house--I'd rather own, but that wasn't going to happen soon enough. I have a great low-paying but flexible and meaningful job that I've held for more than 5 years, so that's cool. I've got a super dog, Kobi, that should do fabulous with a baby. Really pretty well set. Oh. Except the sperm.
I so wanted and believed I needed a partner to go with me on this trip. I'd had a boyfriend that I really thought would be it about 3 1/2 years ago, but he wasn't in the right space for it. So we split and I set out to figure this out for myself. I'd say it was probably not until about 1 year ago that I decided I had to do this, and I chose to do it alone. And started the list.
Then in February 2006, my darling doggie got bloat (please click on the link if you don't know about bloat and have a large breed dog!) and had to have an emergency surgery to save his life that, well, doubled my debt. He did fabulously, though, and hasn't suffered any ill consequences. He's perfect! Well, except the cancer he was just diagnosed with a week ago.So the debt never really has achieved that paid off status that I'd hoped for. Instead of the projected debt free date of June 2006 that I'd forecasted in November 2005, I thought maybe I would get there by October or November of 2006. But after a brake job, engine mount replacements, new tires, and full accounting of that trip to Ikea in October 2005, it soon became apparent that the best I could do was to settle for a paid down status. Which by the way hasn't materialized either. The pooch and I are facing another $3000 vet bill, and, well, sperm ain't free... if you want it when you want it with the desired traits you want and no fear of a future custody battle.
So ignore the debt criteria.
Then there's the baby-ready body. Like I said, I was fit. I was happy. I ate good foods.... Then my running partner, Kobi, had the emergency surgery and we stopped running and never really picked it up again. Fitness has declined. The foods became more comfort in nature. I DID start the prenatal vitamins in June. I DID go through a series of detoxifying massages. I'm afraid the longer I wait, the less baby-ready this body's gonna be...
So ignore the debt criteria AND my body's probably as baby ready as it's gonna get. I'm 42. Been 42 all year. There's no turning back the clock. It's now or likely never.
Next post: Step two - ignore step one and dig in
3 comments:
I understand what you are saying about the plan and how at least part of the plan gets thrown out the window. I am now focusing more on eating healthy, exercising and getting my blood pressure where I want it and less on how many pounds I've lost. The bills are still a big deal but I've got plans to get those under control, at least if I can ever catch up from emergency surgery.
woohoo!! my first comment! Thanks, Michell.
All you can do is work on what you can work on, try not to get stressed out, and move forward. Keep your heart in your head and your head in your heart, and things will work out as best they can--at least the parts you do have some control over.
p.s. I'm having trouble having any control over my photo uploads. I'm trying to upload to a blog post, and it times out. I'm also not sure how to get my profile photo on my blog front page.... if you've got any pointers for me, please let me know!
For photos, I started off uploading them to photobucket, and then decided I didn't need to load them there after all. I just clicked the picture thing on the board where I write the post, then uploaded it. I do have internet cable though so mine is high speed. Don't know if that makes a difference. Good luck.
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