I'm Certified!!

Received word today that the judge has signed off on my paperwork, and I am certified to adopt! Phew! Now it's just more wait and see about placement of kiddos... My adoption specialist says she's left several messages for "the boys'" caseworker and has never received a call back. So I'm waiting, waiting... tap-tap-tap

Had to run 12 miles last Saturday and it KICKED MY ASS! Uck. But it sure made the 4 miles I did today seem E-Z. 10 miles this coming Saturday, then 14 the following. I have lost 17 lbs on NS so far! Feeling a bit more like my ol'self. At least I can fit into my old fat clothes. :)

cupcake

Just a brief update (although a cupcake would be sweeter): I have not received notice yet of my certification, so the adoption specialist could not represent me at the big meeting. It was okay, though, because the brothers that were a possibility for me are getting adopted by their foster mom. I still have not heard word-one back from "the boys'" agency--whether they received my home study, have any interest in talking with me or my adoption specialist... nothin'. So I'm just waiting at this point.

Did get my landlord to open up the 3rd bedroom of this house, but it's still piled high with the crap he's been storing in there. Soon as we can clean it out, put the door up, paint, install new flooring, etc., it will be ready for kiddos, and I won't have to move my office. OR, if the kiddos are different genders, they can each have their own room (and the office will be absorbed elsewhere). Planning to work on the room this weekend.

Still running and my hands are healing. Starting a second month of N*S. Still going okay, so will stick with it a bit longer. I'd like to be down to 190 or below by the marathon (remember, I'm 6'2" tall)--that's 3 full months to lose 20 pounds. I think I can do it or at least get close. s'long as I stay away from the cupcakes... (haven't had one, just sounds so damn good tonight!)

Going, going...

No word yet about "the boys," although I didn't expect there to be. I did go to the adoption agency today and watch a video about several kiddos that need homes. Next week there will be some big meeting between DES caseworkers and adoption specialists where the same kids will be presented and the specialists will be presenting the families that are interested in those kids. There was a sibling set that I thought might work, although I really want MY boys, Brandon and Cordell. If my certification comes through in the next couple days, my specialist will be able to represent me at the meeting as interested in the sibling set. There's likely going to be other families interested in them as well. Apparently they're going to try to sort out placements for these kids that day. This is a new, untried type of meeting - usually it's just for one or two kids at a time.

I should also note that if my certification does not come through in the next couple days, I won't be included in this placement meeting. Which might be okay, because it's not Brandon and Cordell on the stage (or "auction block"?). This is such a strange way to go about "having children." Watching tapes of kids or observing them in their natural settings; ie. group homes, foster homes, etc. Competing with other families to be the right or best placement option. Looking at the children's past, their behavioral issues and developmental issues and deciding if they fit with your family. Necessary given the circumstances. But strange nonetheless.

My specialist did say that she'd heard last Friday that one of the other families whose application she filed the same day she filed mine was in the review stage with the judge, which would indicate I would be likely at the same place or nearly so. Should be SOON!

If the personality fits, wear it!

Okay... me too. I've apparently changed! Used to be an ISTJ, now an ESTP. And I think it mostly fits. I am, in a sense, a promoter or marketer or agent for plants, animals, and wild places. I have to speak publicly to educate, argue, advocate. I attend a lot of meetings, write a lot of controversial comments. To do my job even better, I could be even bolder. So here goes:



ESTP - The "Persuader"

ESTPs are action-loving, "here and now" realists with excellent people skills. Informal, risk-taking, fast-paced and adaptable, they are not always in agreeance with rules and regulations. They are tactical problem solvers that desire quick results. ESTPs, who present a friendly and enthusiastic face, are straightshooters that are able to handle criticism.

About the ESTP - Expert Quotes & Links

"These are the ultimate realists. Extraverted Sensors are at one with objects and experiences now, in the only living, pulsing moment that ever really exists. The Sensor is compelled to see, touch, taste, smell and feel all that moves, wafts, tingles, tinkles, scintillates, vibrates or resonates" - ESTP Profile (TypeLogic)

"Promoters are men and women of action. When someone of this personality is present, things begin to happen: the lights come on, the music plays, the game begins." - The Portrait of the Promoter Artisan (eStP) (Keirsey)

"likes to lead, likes sports, risk taker, tends to dominate conversations, fearless, can handle criticism" - Jung Type Descriptions (ESTP) (similarminds.com)

"Enthusiastic and excitable, ESTPs are "doers" who live in the world of action. Blunt, straight-forward risk-takers, they are willing to plunge right into things and get their hands dirty. They live in the here-and-now, and place little importance on introspection or theory. The look at the facts of a situation, quickly decide what should be done, execute the action, and move on to the next thing." - Portrait of an ESTP (The Personality Page)

"At work, ESTPs contribute a straightforward attitude that calls on people to make things happen quickly. They keep things lively and are willing to take personal and organizational risks. They enjoy crises and like to dive right in and skillfully negotiate through them." - ESTP - The Adventurer (Lifexplore)

Famous ESTPs

Real ESTP People
* Ann Jillian - actress
* Bruce Willis - actor (Die Hard)
* Cybil Shepherd - actress
* Donald Trump - businessman, TV personality
* Eddie Murphy - actor, comedian
* Ernest Hemingway - American novelist
* Jack Nicholson - actor
* Jacob (Israel) - Isaac's son, Abraham's grandson
* James Buchanan - American President
* Jimmy Conners - tennis player
* Joan Cusack - actress, comedian
* Lucille Ball - actress (I Love Lucy)
* Madonna - singer
* Mae West - actress
* Michael J. Fox - actor (Back to the Future)
* Roy Rogers - singer, actor
* Simon Peter - Disciple of Jesus

Fictional ESTPs (Characters)
* Bart Simpson - The Simpsons
* Bernie Bernbaum - Miller's Crossing
* Elle Driver - Kill Bill Vol. 1
* Jake "J.J" Gittes - Chinatown
* James Bond - James Bond Series
* John Parker - Alien
* Krusty the Klown - The Simpsons
* Louie DePalma - Taxi
* Sidney Falco - Sweet Smell of Success
* Sonny Corleone - Godfather
* Spike Spiegel - Cowboy Bebop
* Tuco - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
* Vincent Vega - Pulp Fiction

ESTP Career Matches

ESTPs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the Persuader/Creator personality.

* Agent
* Auditor
* Carpenter
* Comedian
* Computer Tech Support
* Computer Technician
* Craftsman
* Detective
* Driver
* Engineer
* Entrepreneur
* Farmer
* Firefighter
* Laborer
* Marketer
* Military
* Network Specialist
* Paramedic/EMT
* Police
* Project Manager
* Sales Representative

gains and losses

A potentially good piece of news! The boys' adoption agency requested I send them my homestudy (or rather have my agency send it). So apparently they will consider me, I'm just not sure how seriously. It sounded as though I may have some competition as the woman at their agency said they had several homestudies to go through and they just haven't had time... Okay. Their agency hasn't been very pleasant to deal with up to this point. We'll see if it turns around.

On the bummer side, I fell when running this morning and scraped the shit out of my palms, banged up my knees and torqued my back... I'm suppose to run 10 miles in the morning. We'll see about that, too. (I have a picture of my left palm, which is the worst of my wounds... I could post it, but wouldn't want to alienate you, dear readers and super-supporters. So you'll have to click here to see it.)

If I haven't announced it already, I've lost 10# since I started NS on 7/17. Woohoo!!

So hoping the dream bubble don't pop...

I'm feeling a bit antsy... I still haven't heard from my adoption specialist whether she's made contact with the boys' caseworker. Finally, yesterday, I went ahead and emailed the caseworker listed on their profile (I know it's the wrong guy, but he should forward it, right?) as well as the contact person for the agency. I finally figured out (I'm registered on the Adopt US Kids website, so now I can find out more info about the kiddos and send inquiries to their case workers) that the boys are in or near Tucson as that's where the agency is that's handling their adoption. And now it's been 24 hours and no reply. I cc'd my adoption specialist on the email. She hasn't sent me a note or called either.

And this all has me facing the very real prospect that maybe I won't be able to adopt Brandon and Cordell. The "powers-that-be" might rather hold out for a "couple" than place them with me. That these two adorable little faces that have become a part of my daily thoughts might have to exit my memory. And that feels like a major loss.

You see they have really captured my imagination--more so than the infant for which I was TTC. I had faces and names, races and genders and ages for these two guys. I certainly didn't know that much about the baby that never formed in my womb. And because I adored them on sight, even though I knew there was a possibility that they would never be mine, they became the official stand-ins for "my kids." When I think about rides to school or the museum or chasing around the park, it's with Brandon and Cordell. When I think of going to Ikea and picking out bedroom furniture of their very own, I think of going with Brandon and Cordell. When I think of introducing my kiddos to my family and my friends, the kiddos are Brandon and Cordell. And it really, really hurts to think that my kiddos may not be them. And I have to open myself up for some other kids. Kids that right now, to me, don't have faces or names or genders or ages... just ranges and possibilities.

Bleh... it stinks.

I KNOW! I totally set myself up. And I said I wasn't going to do that. But as the weeks and months wore on (I saw their picture at the end of March or beginning of April), I've sorta slipped. But you know I'll muddle through, whatever. I just wish that dream, the one with Brandon and Cordell, would come true.

NS = MRE

mmmm... sitting here enjoying another delicious NS meal... They're essentially MREs. Getting up at 4 a.m. to run, I feel like I'm in bootcamp! (ha... I wouldn't last two days)

Nothing new here, really. Still waiting to find out about the kiddos. I did stress to my adoption specialist that I'm fairly desperate to find out. I do know that my homestudy has been submitted to the courts as of last Friday. I'll be entered into the central registry as ready to adopt so social workers throughout the state will have access to my info. I've also registered with Adopt US Kids, a national network.

I'm so boring!! At least life is fairly uneventful at the moment... unlike some people's (Michell). Cheers to all!!