this, that and the other update

The wait is grueling!

The little girl I may be adopting was the subject of a hearing last Thursday wherein the judge did not make any decision about her placement, at least in part because the psych-eval she was suppose to undergo did not happen prior to the hearing. It's scheduled instead for next Tuesday. Then, apparently, it takes a couple weeks for the eval to make its way to the judge. The judge may then decide... or he may schedule another hearing... or the caseworker may have to petition for removal of the child from her current placement... or ?

So I'm probably looking at another month. When I was told initially that I'd know last Thursday. Okay, at least I know I'm not alone. The wait and changes and delays are pretty normal.

Otherwise, things are okay. Except that I can't schedule anything because I don't know what's going on... I've had to family members, an aunt and a grandfather, pass away in the last two months. A family gathering is planned in honor of my aunt during Memorial weekend. The family gathering in honor of Granddad is scheduled for the first week in August. Both are in the NW around Bend. I need to buy plane tickets for two separate trips, except that I don't know if I'll have a child and whether or not that child can travel with me out of state... I obviously need to spend some time talking to my adoption worker to clarify my options and whether or not I, as an adoptive parent, qualify for respite care if it's too early or unaffordable for two airline tickets for what will be at least 3 trips to the NW this year - because we have to go at Christmas (if there is a "we," of course).

And what I sorta rambled over was the fact that two of my family members died this year... Aunt Jo was in poor health for awhile, but too young. Only 6 years older than my mother who is 65. But my aunt did not trust doctors or people in general, so did not get preventive care or address what was likely stomach cancer. She had been a wonderfully sweet woman as I was growing up. At some points she was a stay-at-home mom, unlike my own, and I loved going to stay with her and my two cousins in the summer. She gave me the attention I craved. But she was also a bit mentally unstable. Which came to a head by the time I and my cousins were in high school, shortly before her husband left her. The rest of her life - the last 20-some years - had been pretty miserable. I'm certain the peace she now has is a blessing.

My granddad was sufficiently old (is there such a thing?) - about 92. He fell and broke his hip. Then they found a blood clot in his lungs. They decided not to do surgery, and it was a matter of a couple days before he passed away. My folks were able to see him, comfort him, and tell him that we all loved him. I really wanted to fly up, but the expense... and we really didn't know if he'd be gone within hours or days. He was pretty incoherent after the first 24 hours. I take comfort that I did visit him and my aunt at Christmas, as well as my last surviving grandparent - Grandma Starr - who is 98! She has pretty severe dementia and broke her hip just before that as well - though they did succeed at surgery, she's pretty difficult to rehab. She's the energizer bunny, the dear. But I miss her - how she was. How very much she loved me. Which was loads and loads... I'm so lucky! Now, though, she barely remembers me most of the time.

Would you believe that I have not run a single time since I ran the marathon? Not even at the gym. I use the elliptical trainer, lift weights. But am gaining weight because I eat like I did when I was running 30-50 miles/week. And I didn't go to the gym all last week... My workout buddy and bff is "recovering" from a tattoo and was told not to work out for a week. And cuz I just can't get myself there on my own... I should go today. a-hem...

And I got asked out last week by a random guy at the supermarket! I haven't called him yet, but I may. He seemed cool enough. Maybe later. Or tomorrow. I bet he thinks I'll never call since he gave me his # last Wednesday. :) I jus' don't wanna upset my little apple cart. I'm completely fine alone. But I guess we could meet for coffee...