Thursday, October 18, 2007

Job Title Debacle

NOTE: Read "Grinder House" first, and then if you feel compelled to find out more details about the work stuff, continue...

Here's a doctored up version of the letter I emailed my bosses... It will explain a bit about the job title issue as well as the work hell I've been going through. Don't be distressed that the letter makes absolutely no sense since I've replaced organization and project names with blocks of letters--it didn't make any sense before I changed it.

This is about so much more than just a job title.

Bigger picture: no one has effectively communicated to me what their or the XXXX’s vision is for my position or the now apparently defunct YYYY Program.

First off, I want to make it clear that I truly value the work the XXXX does and am so very proud to be a part of it. I love my job. And I want to continue doing my job. But, I am unhappy with how things have evolved and how I have been left out of the discussion. And if you’ll bear with me, I need to lay this out so you can be clear as to why I’m feeling unhappy and undervalued.

A few years ago, the XXXX’s work was split into more manageable parts called “programs.” I was made YYYY Program Director. I wrote a program plan, but received little support or guidance. I had big ideas of what the YYYY Program might become over the next few years, particularly if I were to get some support and staff. I thought we would do more work to achieve ZZZZ designations throughout the west. And to change western w*a*ter policy. I hoped to achieve prioritization of restoring native f*i*sh, starting in Arizona, and then branching into other states. The SSPP Campaign and VVVV Campaign would be models for future r*i*ver or w*a*tershed campaigns. I wasn’t sure how to make all of this happen, particularly when I was still required to work part of the time as R’s assistant. But I figured that if I kept my head down and worked away at it, I’d eventually get some of that support, authority and growth that seemed promised with the job title. Over time, I did less work for R and became more exclusively YYYY Program focused.

But then the YYYY Program was “maybe” moved to PPPP Program around last year’s staff retreat after the DDDD and FFFF programs’ leadership bowed out. P was then head of the PPPP Program and led a small group meeting at the retreat. I wasn’t clear whether I was in PPPP Program, and P didn’t know either. M assured us we’d sort this out. Then there was a PPPP Program meeting in May at M2’s house which I attended. P and I were still uncertain whether YYYY was in the PPPP Program, but P said he did not think so. Then I got an email from M on June 13, while I was on vacation, that said I was in the BBBB Program. I was told it had more to do with “funding requests” than anything else. So I kept working. And was never once contacted by K, supposedly my new boss. But that was okay, because M said the move would have zero to do with my day to day work, and that I would continue to work independently.

In the meantime, R2 was hired to run the SSPP b*a*llot in*i*tiative campaign. I was told by M before R2 was hired that the SSPP campaign was part of the YYYY Program. But then the hiring of the campaign manager went on without me. I was not given any choice or consideration. I LIKE R and have no problem with him. But as it had been previously stated that his position and the campaign were in the YYYY Program, and the YYYY Program was never officially removed or renamed, I had some expectations that the SSPP campaign was under my purview. Yet I was left out of the loop again and again.

On July 2, a PPPP Program call was scheduled. I emailed P and wrote that since I’d been moved to BBBB Program, I wouldn’t be on the call unless he thought I should be… he did not reply. Then a PPPP Program meeting was scheduled for San Francisco. YYYY was not included on the agenda. A couple days before the meeting, R asked me if I was going. I said no, because I was not in the PPPP Program. He asked me to put together my work project list. He said he was going to advocate for me, that YYYY was an important program. At least that’s what I thought he said. Right after the PPPP Program meeting, however, R called and said “you’re definitely in the PPPP Program.” I was surprised and a little upset as I’d assumed he would be advocating for the retention of the YYYY Program. And I guess I’d hoped that I might finally get some support.

Instead, I feel like a football that’s been kicked around that nobody has wanted to pick up. Nobody is fighting for the YYYY Program. Indeed, there is, apparently, no YYYY Program and, instead, just a couple YYYY campaigns. And I’m not clear whether or not I am a generic C*o*nservation Adv*o*cate working on various c*o*nservation activities no longer focused on “r*i*vers” or if I’m a R*i*vers C*o*nservation Adv*o*cate.

Additionally, whether or not you are considering my title change and current situation a demotion, it will certainly be looked at in that way from outside as well as inside our organization. Changing me from a program director to a c*o*nservation adv*o*cate strips me of any authority, perceived or otherwise. And if I’d made assumptions that I had some authority which was never actually given me as the YYYY Program Director, it is due at least in part to a lack of communication from leadership.

If I am being demoted because I have not lived up to leaderships’ expectations, I think there needs to be some recognition that your expectations were never clearly identified for me, nor was I effectively supported in my efforts. And I will take responsibility for not forcing this issue, making more demands and making greater headway.

At this point, I would like to have my job description and job title made excruciatingly clear. (and then I go into some of my specific work responsibilities and accomplishments)

I know that I’m doing good work and believe that my contributions to the XXXX are valued, whether or not that’s been coming through in the past year’s program deliberations. I think we can work through this. But I need leadership to do a better job of communicating with me and advocating for me. And I’m certainly open to hearing what I can do differently to improve my work performance and my working relationships with all of you.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to better clarifying my position and job title -



Still holding your breath? Or did you give up??

I'm now the R*i*vers C*o*nservation M*a*nager...

Grinder House

Damn. I was feeling all happy and loved after reading Tracey's blog, laughed at the brilliant wit that Mimi keys, and then got a gut punch catching up with LookyDaddy! Now, if you read LookyDaddy's more recent posts, you'll see that Kathryn and family are doing okay, but I just can't imagine how horrible that had to be for her parents!!

Besides the blog world up and downs, my real world has been up and down, too.

UP - I'm less than 20 lbs from my goal weight!

DOWN - I haven't run in over a week...

UP - My mom is coming to visit for a week, arriving this Saturday!

DOWN - My sister can't run the marathon in Seattle Thanksgiving, so I'm going to delay my trip until Christmas... and will delay my marathon run until January.

UP - I found more kiddos on Adopt Us Kids to inquire about!

DOWN - Haven't heard anything back from the caseworker for 3 of the sibling groups and the one I did hear back from already has a family they're working with.

UP - Had a staff retreat in the gorgeous Chiricahua mountains in southeastern Arizona - creeks and changing tree leaves and great people!

DOWN - Internal work communications suck and I became upset to the point of tears several times over the past week & weekend.

UP - Got brave and wrote my bosses about my unhappiness, mistreatment and misunderstandings hoping to clear the air and get some clarity!

DOWN - Was essentially told to suck it up...

UP - Turns out I wasn't demoted after all and the job title change is insignificant!

DOWN - so why was I so upset? BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD EXPLAIN IT TO ME

UP - My landlord is almost done remodeling the third bedroom!

DOWN - My landlord is NOT done remodeling the third bedroom, yet is charging me $70 more in rent each month to pay for the remodel and energy use of a third bedroom...

BUT, to keep it in perspective, I'm healthy, I'm certified to adopt and it should happen anytime, I still love my job, my puppy dog is doing great, my car runs, I have wonderful family and friends... And I send my love out to everyone who is having a bad day, a bad week, a bad year... Hugs!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Oh, no... that's okay. Really...

It's with very pouty lip that I write that "my boys" will not be my boys. I finally got word today that their caseworker has already contacted the families they are considering, and seeing as she didn't contact me... Yeah. It's hard to give up the idea of them. But, some other kiddos are out there, just waitin' for us to connect.

I'm also pouty 'cuz a good friend is moving to North Carolina tomorrow. I saw her this evening for a bit. Fought back a tearful goodbye. Pooh...

I have to pick out a new job title. "Director" no longer fits... "but you know it's not a demotion or anything... just..." Yeah. I know. But how're the people I deal with on the outside going to know? Well, Mayor, I'm the coordinator errr, advocate... ummmm... manager... associate? No, not the director. There's no director. But, yeah, you still have to listen to me... please? Whatever.

It really wasn't a bad day. Just a bunch of pissy parts to it. I'm gonna go eat and rest up for my 18-mile run tomorrow... (I'm just hoping I make it 15 miles!)

Monday, October 01, 2007

The Great Balancing Act


I have SO MUCH catching up to do! But figured I'd better post a note before y'all started worrying about me.

I had a great trip to D.C. To start, we'll get the goofy shot of me on a Segway out of the way... Did a 2-hour tour with "Segs*in*the*City" of some of the buildings of note. Then did a self-guided tour of the Washington, Lincoln and Jefferson monuments/memorials. I was exhausted!! And you'd think that 2 hours on a Segway would be no big deal, right? But standing in one position for 2 straight hours is agonizing! My lower back was bitchin'. Then add to that a few hours of walking, and I got my share of exercise--DESPITE HAVING BLOWN OFF THE RUNNING FOR THE WEEKEND. Yep. I just didn't have the time or energy before I left to run. And I didn't run when I was in D.C. And I haven't run since I got back!!!! TOMORROW! It begins again.

After playing tourist, I got down to the business at hand and played lobbyist. I talked to one house rep, the staffs of three other house reps, and the staff of two senators. Great experience, and I hope to do it again sometime. Besides the fact that D.C. is just a fabulous historic city. I loved it.

Absolutely no word on the kiddos. Hopefully will get to see some more profiles soon. It's tough waiting, but I'm sure it will all be worth it in time.

I'll post more pictures later. xoxo