According to my chart, I ovulated the same day I surged. But who knows. What I do know is my temps went up enough that I figured what the hell about the progesterone. And since then, they've gone up further. We'll see how this goes. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm still hopeful. And I feel a little more peace about it. I haven't started the other research yet... one thing at a time. Once I know how this cycle turns out, I'll proceed from there. And as much as I feel I want the entire experience of pregnancy and childbirth, I would really be fine with adoption as well.
I've been in a heckuva funk on and off for almost a year. I don't operate at my optimum when I don't have control over situations, and you have to relinquish a lot of control during TTC. I can rationalize and outwardly appear to be rolling with the punches, but inside, over time, I've been sorta falling apart, my confidence getting chipped away. I feel good that if this doesn't work out for me, I will have the option of "taking my body back" and working toward whatever solution will bring me my child.
Speaking of chips... Some of you may recall that I bought myself a new windshield for my birthday this year in January... I got a rock chip and small crack in it today! Eeesh!! I very smartly went to get it repaired right after the meeting I was driving to when it happened. The repair looks decent, too--not like a few years ago when a blob of gunk was applied to the chip. You can just barely tell where the chip is!
If you've not heard it, or don't remember the Tears for Fears version some 20 years ago, check out Gary Jules' version of Mad World -- my ode to today's shooting at Virginia Tech. It's one of my favorite sad songs.
5 comments:
You described that perfectly about not having control with TTC. I'm a planner, I like to have a plan and have things go according to plan and I have a hard time with things not going according to plan and the TTC scares the crap out of me because it's totally out of my control. Thanks for the insight. I do really hope this is it for you. Sending all kinds of sticky baby dust and positive thoughts your way.
Hey, sister control freak! Babies and baby making have to be something of the most terrifying, loss-of-control experiences a woman can have, methinks...yay on the temps!
Amen about the lack of control for TTC. It is so frustrating! If you read my most recent blog... the print in red that I got from a friend sums it up! I am pulling for you this cycle!
I love the song Mad World by Gary Jules. I had heard it on CSI or Cold Case last year and have been addicted to it ever since. The VTech thing is soooo sad.
Keep me posted on your TWW!
I hear you about loss of control. I wait for the doctor, wait for my eggs, wait to see if it took, wait and wait. Then pregnancy brings another set of things I can't control. I hope those temps keep going up, and stay up.
Hi there! Lack of control is the WORST! I hate it... but it the rules of this game.. BLAH on that!
I do hope that this is it for you... I sent off a truckload of babydust to ya!
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