Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Imagine

I screwed up and actually had a glorious weekend away from my computer! And have been paying for it ever since. I procrastinated on some comments I need to write to a state wildlife agency - due TOMORROW - so I should be working now (9:15pm). But I've barely been keeping up on my blog roll and haven't posted in a week, so thought I would procrastinate on my work just a little more and post on my blog.

Had another adoption/foster class last night - Week 3 of 10. Good stuff. "Becoming Loss Experts" was sorta the theme. Knowing that all kids in the system have suffered some sort of situational loss and have likely not adequately grieved that loss, we ran through some of the paces on how to understand and address the behaviors that accompany the emotions. Wooo! Sounds like it could be quite a rollercoaster! And then there's fetal alcohol syndrome - another crazy ride. Not sure I'd go that route - I'm patient, but not saintly.

In the meantime, besides the work I'm not doing, I'm getting ready for my two week vacation in mid to late June. Will be headed to the NW. And then when I get back, my bestest girlfriend, R, and I will be taking a road trip to LA to go see the True Colors tour at the Greek Theater. We're staying with a friend I met on the internet several years ago... it was a dating site. He and I never dated, but became good long-distance friends. We've met up a couple times when he's been in Phx or I've been in LA. I get to meet his wife of a couple years for the first time! She agreed to let my friend and I stay there. AND they'll babysit Kobi, who will take the roadtrip with us, when R & I go to the concert. R's dog, who gets car sick, will stay at her ex-husband's. Okay, I'm rambling at this point... But we're very excited to take a road trip! And we've moved on to planning a trip to Iceland to see the Imagine Peace Tower, with a stop in Greenland. Extremely cool. Could be a couple years before we get the money together, but the Tower will be a permanent exhibition, from what I gather.

From Yoko's website (linked above):

The Japan Times (October 2006)

"Imagine Peace Tower, as planned by the 73-year-old artist, will be 20 to 30 meters high with a radius of about a meter, and will have the lyrics of Lennon's song "Imagine" engraved on it once completed by his 67th birthday next year. The illuminated column, constructed over a base with a radius of about 10 meters, will be filled with messages of wishes and hopes from more than 900,000 people that have been collected so far.

A special mailbox for the monument will be set up in the city to continue accepting more letters to go into the monument."


And that mailbox address where you can send YOUR wishes and hopes:

Send your wishes to IMAGINE PEACE TOWER:

PO Box 1009
121 Reykjavík
Iceland


Hopefully the kiddos won't mind spending a couple weeks at Grammy & Papa's (unless I can pull the extra $ together for their plane tickets - and yes, I really want to adopt siblings - instant family!).

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Friday, May 18, 2007

You Can't Hurry Love

I KNOW! I'm posting again! And already!! But another mini-milestone. I met with the lady at the adoption agency today, dropped off my references and picked up my paperwork. She caught me up on the work that was assigned last Tuesday. I have LOTS of writing to do this weekend, as well as looking up my address from 9 years ago and locating my divorce decree. I also have to clean house and make it look like a kiddo or two might fit in here. She's gonna come by on Tuesday and verify my address and take a little look-see.

At today's appointment, I also asked her about the timeline to give me an idea of what we're talking about here. I'm already a week into 10 weeks of classes which will be over July 17. They'll have the home studies completed by August 4, submitted to the Commission by September 4, and signed by October 4 (if not sooner). !! At that point I'll go on the adoption registry as a certified potential parent and we'll see who they match me up with or who's available for me to be considered for. Although I want whatever is best for "my boys," I can't help but hope they're available for me to mother when I get certified. (And I'll try to make that the last time I refer to them until something is known on that front.)

After my appointment, I went straight to the location where I needed to get fingerprinted - two sets. Filled out the paperwork and got inked up. I also made an appointment with my doctor to have him fill out the medical form I need to submit, and also to refer me to another doc for a round of steroid epidurals in my neck. I've got some tissue between a couple of my vertebrae that gets inflamed and causes my right hand to go numb. It happened a couple years ago, but was completely better after three of the shots. I hoped it would go away forever, but no such luck. Maybe one epidural will work this time? We'll see.

I have special assignments, too, in this paperwork. Like I have to write a letter to the child(ren) about my home, activities, pets, life, their room, etc. to help them get to know me and what it's like "here." I also have to write a letter to the birth parent(s) to let them know I'll provide a safe and happy place for their little one(s). A photo album/scrap book is also required (or at least STRONGLY recommended) - the more warm and expressive and lively the better. This is to give the caseworkers, commissioners, etc. an idea about who I am and what kind of mother I will be. (If anybody has any great or clever ideas about how I might go about that, please let me know!) Seems exceedingly ODD that I had a dream last night that a lady gave me some materials as a thank you to put in "my scrapbook." I didn't know anything about this part of the adoption process until today.

So this weekend it's all about the paperwork and housework. And I really could be a mom by the end of the year! Amazing.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I spoke to the Department of Economic Security about "my boys" yesterday, and yes, they're still available. Of course they won't HOLD them for me, but at least I know their current status. The adoption agency called me today AND the gal is going to work with me to make up a missed class and catch me up on paperwork (the classes started last Tuesday), and allow me to make up one other class I'll miss when I'm on vacation. The alternative was to wait until July 24 to start the 10-week series of classes required for adoption certification. I'm going in tomorrow morning to pick up my paperwork and give her my five references. Then in the next week or two, she'll come to my house for a preliminary check. I also have to go get finger prints (two sets) next week. WOW! and HOLY SHIT!!

I know, it seemed like just Tuesday I wasn't sure what I was doing. Now, just two days later, I'm planning to start (or am already a week into) the process of becoming certified to adopt. Of course now that I'm more seriously considering, and even working toward, adopting two "older" children, the questions and comments are starting...

"Are you sure you want to adopt an older child?"
"Two boys??"
"You know they're going to have lots of problems, right?"
"I thought you wanted a baby."
"Are you sure you don't want to wait for a baby?"
"That'll be a big change..."

You're telling me.

I really do feel compelled to do exactly what I'm doing. AND, as another friend said, "You're still young! You can easily adopt a baby in a few years!" She's so sweet.

I can't tell you how excited I am. And, yes, terrified. But mostly excited!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hello, Dolly!

What I know now that I didn't know yesterday morning... (sorry, this leaves out all the stuff I already DID know)

1) It's highly unlikely that I'll be able to adopt an infant out of foster care. (I thought that they placed likely adoptable infants with families that want to adopt, but was told that the goal is ALWAYS to return the child to the parents and they don't even consider possible adoption status when placing.)

2) Foster parents in Arizona require a license. There are something like four or five levels of licensure and requires relicensing annually. Adoptive parents require certification which is good for 18 months.

3) In addition to the home study, which can be 2 to 6 visits, my home also has to have the sign-off by the health department. --Oh, shit! I wonder if my landlord will address the dryer vent, put in a carbon monoxide monitor, unstick the windows so there's a second exit... I should start my list now - it will take him months to make this place livable...

4) Foster parents have a huge list of support for them and the children: a respite program, child medical & dental insurance, child care assistance, support groups, 24-hour helpline, education and consultation services, foster parent liability insurance, WIC & free school lunches, financial allowances for room & board, clothing, diapers and formula, graduation expenses, education expenses, summer school tuition and fees, summer day camp and residential camp, and a personal monthly allowance for the child.

5) Adoptive parents also have some benefits such as the respite program (basically a special emergency babysitting gig), special services subsidy, reimbursement for non-recurring expenses related to adoption finalization, maintenance subsidy, support groups and ongoing education. I "think" that there can also be some additional subsidy for special needs kids.

6) Certification for adoption can cost around a grand, but the state may reimburse the fee if a "special needs" child is adopted.

7) "Special needs" means: age 6 or older, children of color, sibling groups of three or more, has physical/mental/emotional disabilities, or has a high risk for physical/mental/emotional disabilities.

I'm sure there are more things I learned, but I'm getting a little tired. I went to see Harry Connick Jr. tonight - his New Orleans tour, "oh, my nola." And it was great! What a cutie - and so funny! Yeah, it was good. (Although he seemed to start off a little rough... I was thinking he was hung-over. But maybe it was just the heat.)

I put a call in to DES (Department of Economic Security, the agency in Arizona that has legal custody of children whose parents' rights have been terminated) to find out if "my boys" are still available and how to work towards adopting them. (This is not a commitment yet as I haven't even talked to them yet.) I also left a message at an agency that is centrally located, single-friendly and secular. Hopefully I'll know even more tomorrow!

Finally, I gotta tell you about my dining experience tonight pre-Harry concert. Went to a restaurant I've been to three or four times. Nice place. Good food (usually). Instead of the thin crust pizza, I got the "pesto salad," which supposedly came with roasted potatoes. They brought my friend and I two identical salads - mixed greens. I told them I'd ordered the pesto salad. It comes. I try a bite of potato, since that's the thing that's different about our salads that I paid an extra buck for... Uck! It tasted like 4-day-old french fry. Dried out, flavorless, just UCK! So I asked my friend to try one - I didn't trust myself. She agreed it was horrible. The waiter came by and asked us how everything was, but he didn't make eye-contact or wait for an answer. I picked out all the potatoes and started eating the salad. When the waiter came by again and inquired on how much we were enjoying our meals, I told him I wasn't and explained the problem. "Oh, really? Cuz they're fresh - cooked daily... I dunno... Umm, I can ask the chef..." And that was it. I kept eating. I'd decided I wouldn't send it back because I would have just ordered the mixed green salad instead - or what I had with the stale potatoes picked out. But no worry - he didn't even ask if I wanted something else. Later, finally, he brought the check. I noticed he didn't take anything off for the salad, nor did he tell me what the chef had to say for himself (I hadn't expected it - seemed strange he'd ask the chef whether or not I should be happy with my salad). I waited for him to come back so I could ask about the bill - I decided that if he wanted a tip, he probably wanted to take the salad off so there was something left for him. I told him that I didn't like the salad, the potatoes were awful, and that he should take part or all of the salad charge off. And he said, "But you ate it, right?" And I said, "Oh, you didn't just say that..." The bill was $38.83. I left him $40. What he did with it was up to him... Ass.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Bunches of Babies

I finally met other members of the Arizona Single Mothers by Choice group on Saturday. Wow, what a lovely group of women and SUCH CUTE BABIES!! M's triplets (actually due today!), K's 5 mo.-old twins, M2 and her newborn, C and almost 1-year-old, pregnant T and 7-mo.-old boy, T2 and almost year old preemie with the most beautiful blue eyes, and H with twin 4-year-old girls. What a terrific group. All of these babies came out of these ladies bodies - which made me rethink some. I WANT to have a baby! But it also makes really good sense to me to just move to adoption...

Speaking of which, my foster/adopt orientation is tomorrow evening at 6. I'm looking forward to it and a teeny bit nervous. Here's a link to the little boys I'm in love with. But still trying to figure out if I should concentrate on getting a baby. So many decisions!! But I know it's a process that takes some time.

I'm feeling a little nervous about my impending 25th H.S. Reunion set for the middle of June. Yes - 25th! I could be a grandmother! And some of my former classmates are grandparents or parents to college kids. Amazing. I don't feel anywhere close to that old. But it will, I hope, be fun catching up. It's been 5 years since the last one. At the last one, I was skinny, damn cute, and feeling pretty in charge. Now I'm closing in on my heaviest weight and feeling a little less than "super." But improving... It was very funny, I thought, to get a phone message last Friday from one of our class's biggest "stoners" who was helping to organize the reunion.

I'm really looking forward to seeing a BFP from Tracey this week!! It just has to be.

Monday, May 07, 2007

TMI

I basically blew off the afternoon today. My good girlfriend had her hair colored and I went to offer support and many ooohs and aaahs. Spectacular shade of cherry bomb red! Her hairdresser was about as warm as a light pole in Prospect Creek, Alaska. But man could she do color. I took some work-related reading materials, but only read one page - cuz I didn't want to be rude...

Monday nights are special. Heroes at 8. The Riches at 10. And then, since I'm up, I watch Jon Stewart and the Colbert Report. Uh, huh. And now it's after midnight and I should be sleepin'. But not before I let you in on 7 random and/or little known facts about me. Thanks for the tag, Meg... err, Marcy. And like Michell, I don't know 7 bloggers to tag who haven't already been tagged. Val?? You're it!! Candace?? And Jen!

1) I am a flaming, bleeding-heart liberal.
2) I wear a size 12 women's shoe!
3) I was 5'4" when I was 10.
4) I LOVE Crazy Jim's pizza and Matt's Big Breakfast! Hell, I love food.
5) I was married when I was 21, separated at 24 and divorced at 27.
6) I was valedictorian at my H.S. graduation. But obviously not smart enough (see #5).
7) My first dog's name was Tippy. My first (of thankfully only two) parakeet's name was Sam ("I think him Sam" -- I was 4). My first cat's name was Mittens. The cat gave the parakeet a heart attack. My folks gave the dog away and told me she ran away because I didn't play with her enough (my mother denies ever having said that to this day). And my dog threw the cat out the garage door's window by the tail, broke her leg, and then had to pay to fix the window and her broken leg. Whoo! Fun times.

OOps. 8) I don't know where that came from. I call re-do.

7) I was in a band from 1993 to 1994 -- backup vocals and percussion. I was "fired," but I like to blame artistic differences. The guitarist was so pissed he quit on my behalf. It is true that we had been sleeping together.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream (UPDATED)

I'm supposed to test tomorrow a.m., but I'm afraid. I expect it to be negative, but I don't want it to be... But I guess I need to move on to the next thing. I wonder, too, if I even ovulated this month. I took 100 mg clomid CD 3-5, which is twice as much as the previous two cycles. But my symptoms weren't as bad, including the ovulation cramping, which was barely there. My temp shot up the day after my +OPK, which would indicate I ovulated the same day, but then dropped a bit and went up just a little before I started the progesterone. So I'm wondering if I had an anovulatory cycle that was masked by the progesterone? I dunno what's going on. But I will test in the a.m. and move "happily" on.

I'm collecting phone #s for REs, and I'm planning to attend an adoption/foster intro meeting on the 14th (a week from next Monday!). And I will enjoy my break!

So here we go...

Update 5/4: Another test that looks exactly like the last one. *frown* I put a call in to my doc's office for advice as to whether to stop the prometrium or to come in for a blood test. (I called at 10 a.m. and got a return call at 4:45 p.m.) I'm 11 days late, 24 DPO. Doc agreed I'm not pregnant and suggested I stop taking the progesterone.

I plan to call an RE for a consultation, but I feel more and more comfortable with the idea that I will open my home to a child that is already here and needs a home. That really seems to fit with my habit of adopting strays. All of my cats were found feral kittens, and Kobi was found on the street as well, although he was obviously an escapee.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

3 little letters I could do without


This was from Sunday morning. Six days late. Monday, seven days late, I called my doctor's office and asked if I shouldn't have a blood test so I could go off the prometrium. Doc, by way of her assistant, said she'd prefer I just wait until Friday. Maybe I'll start AF by then. If not, test again. If negative, which I presume it will be, then we'll decide what next. I feel bloaty and a teeny bit crampy. But absolutely no break through bleeding. At this point I'd give myself about 0.5% chance of being pregnant, but because there's that 0.5%, I won't just quit the prometrium. Need to be 100% sure.

A little frustrating (and disappointing) to say the least.