Okay, I'm completely off the pity pot and have moved on with life. Well, at least the birthday pity pot... I'm sure I'll find something else to feel blue about in the coming minutes, days, weeks... as well as things to be overjoyed with!
Super THANK-YOU's to everyone for being so sweet & empathetic!! It would have been tougher without you!
I had a pretty stressful day with a big meeting that I was basically in charge of putting together--although I've never done one quite like that. And I didn't do it very well. But the end results will likely be better than had no meeting taken place, and I'm okay with that. Hopefully I learned a thing or two about getting agendas out in advance and about communicating with potential adversaries. 'Cuz it would suck to have to learn it twice!
On the hour and a half drive to and from the meeting with my boss, he asked about my TTC. I'd confessed to him on a prior trip, before I'd started, and he was cool about it. (In addition to his work as a conservationist, he's also a doctor.) He has two little boys of his own, and has been having some challenges with the oldest and with his spouse. Although he supports my decision, he felt it necessary to remind me how difficult parenting is, and said he couldn't imagine doing it alone. He scared me a little... particularly on the heels of my not-perfectly-planned meeting. Maybe I can't do it! But I didn't stay there... it was a fairly fleeting fear.
Then when I got home I got to listen to myself on the radio! I'd done an interview about an Arizona river back in October with the BBC. They planned to air it after the elections... apparently WELL AFTER. I'd gotten an email from a member in New York who said they'd heard it, so I listened to this evening's BBC World Report (it's aired from 6:30-7 pm in AZ). And at 6:55pm, there it was. It also ran all over Europe last weekend--I heard from somebody else, who heard from somebody in Scotland... Pretty cool! If I wasn't so skitchy about just anyone tuning into this blog finding out where I work/my identity, I'd put a link to the story here... (sorry! Get your interest piqued and then hold back...)
A little good... a little not so good. Just another day in this 43-year-old's journey to become a single mother. CD 5, by the way. I've GOT to remember to call NW tomorrow and request my shipment!! I'm still going au naturale for this cycle. Will likely start meds in cycle 4.
5 comments:
AAAhhh, I hate it when we have to learn things. Well Im sure you did it with grace and class. SOmetimes it just has to be done! As far as SMhood goes I think you will do just fine. At least this is your choice, not something thrust upon you by some lame boyfriend who is shirking his responsibilities. I think that makes alot of difference. It shows your ready to put in the effort even if that means going it alone! You go girl :)
I know all about the fleeting fear of "oh my god, can I do this" But it is fleeting and yes, we can. No, it won't be easy but we can do it. And we will be great at it.
I agree with PP's Chelle..you will ROCK in the parenting business. I have no doubts, chica! About the radio spot...YEHAW! How terrific, you are WAY too modest....that is MORE than pretty COOL that is flippin AWESOME!!! Congrats my dear...wish I could have heard it but I understand the protection point 100%. I am so happy you told us about it though. As far as lessons learned...boy, do I have a stash of those that I learned the HARD way!
People "can't imagine" a whole lot of things that others do quite successfully and happily every day. You're going to be a great parent!
Good Luck, i've seen alot of women even younger have a ton of trouble TTC, and then i've had some people who are 47/48 TTC. Your going to be a great parent because of your determination!
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